i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
