This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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