Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
