This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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