Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
