But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
