she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
