But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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