I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
