You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
