i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im calling her cock vulture from now on
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
