i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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