Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think my vagina is haunted
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
