I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
where does the pee come out of this thing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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