no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
