Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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