you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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