moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My pussy is not your playground.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
