Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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