he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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