yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
