too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
