"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
