Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
