Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
