If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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