There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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