Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
