I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
