Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
