why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
