So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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