Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize