Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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