If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
