Tell her she can't have a vagina
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
