Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
don't judge my taste in strippers
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
