So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
