walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
