We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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