my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
