he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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