She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize