The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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