Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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