My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
