Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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