Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
