Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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