Where did you get a picture of my penis
My ATM looks so different sober.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
