he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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