Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
