I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
