Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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