But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
