Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
