So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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