Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
