Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
