I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
