I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
