So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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