Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
