I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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